Who do you listen to?

When it comes to those important matters, who is it you turn to for advice?

And why do you turn to that particular person or group for advice?

These questions are something we should ask ourselves on a regular basis because the answers to them can be quite revealing if we would actually take the time and risk to answer them.

You see we humans do like to take the easiest route to getting our problems solved and that in turn can mean we cut corners on getting advice. Two reasons for that are one…

We don’t really want to have to change so we may gravitate towards ‘advisors’ who will most likely tell us to keep on doing what we are already doing or at the very most only suggest making minimal changes. In
other words we can be fairly sure that they will tell us what we want to hear.

Of course that means that no matter how well meaning they might be – their advice is neither subjective nor impartial. It also means that following it may not be the best thing for us.

There is also the risk that they may simply say what they think you want to hear.

Again, such a response may give a good feeling but it most certainly won’t help us get the problem solved. Examples feelgood advisors are spouses, workmates, your hairdresser and those who may have
a vested interest in continuing a smooth relationship. And of course some of those you find in online forums and user groups.

That can be for a number of reasons such as your hardly likely to get anyone in say a lowcarb or paleo forum suggesting anything other than a course of action that is true to lowcarb or paleo principles. Also,
they may only be speaking from hearsay rather than actual experience – something that is more common than you might think as after all (almost) everyone want to be popular or at the very least keep you in the
group.

So point one of this little diatribe… Ask away to whom you like but before you take the advice of anyone – ask yourself what motives does this person have for giving you advice.

And bear in mind that the more they have to gain from their advice being followed – the greater you should question it. For instance, did you know that your doctor profits enormously for recommending a
certain course of drugs and your oncologist stands to lose tens of thousands should they allow you to even consider taking a more effective, natural treatment (that incidentally, they most likely would not
take themselves). But don’t get me started on that topic…

Secondly… We don’t stop to analyze our own situation.

No one knows you better than you and if you think about most lets say ‘problems’ to do with health – or lack of health have not happened over night. We don’t go to bed and suddenly wake up fat and 100 pounds overweight. In most cases health problems, personal problems, work problems develop over time – but we put up with them because we going back to point one – that’s the easy option. And if you think about it nothing becomes a problem until we decide it’s become a problem.

As an example… I got fat because I was comfort eating. I didn’t mind that I had to buy bigger pants every time I wanted new ones and I justified by telling myself “it was just one of those things that happens as
you grew older” or whatever excuse was convenient.

And it was not until I got to the point that I could hardly put my socks on that I faced the problem. Not the over eating.

But the real problem of being in a caustic relationship with someone who was using me and taking advantage of my giving nature and then facing up to the fact that they were not going to change no matter how understanding I was.

Though it was hard, ending that relationship was for the best and within only a few months I was fit and healthy again on every level.

To illustrate the point though, there were very few people I could have asked about my weight problem because virtually no one knew about the emotional cause. Like most guys, I kept that part to myself and
for a long time even from myself.

The other part of the equation that stops us from analysing the situations is that we don’t generally educate ourselves about these things. And that (in my very biased though highly informed opinion) is mainly due to the fact that our education system has conned us into thinking that we must accept what we are told by our ‘educators’ rather than searching for the knowledge ourselves. That is reinforced by the modernish concerted efforts of institutionally applied behavioral conditioning that being wrong is bad.

Just remember that most of life’s important lessons – the ones that have stood you in good stead – were ones that you learned by yourself, for yourself. Right from the first time you fell over, burnt your finger or touched a stinging nettle.

Real knowledge is not taught – it’s learned.

I trust you understand the difference. The point I’m getting to is this. No one can advise you better about you than you and the best advice you can give yourself is based on knowledge of yourself and what you have taken time to learn about the subject – as it relates to you!

No matter how informed or great and wonderful an advisor might seem they can never ever get the bit that matters most.

That’s the self knowledge you have about yourself and without that most important part their advice can only ever be a best guess that seems to fit the outcomes some of the time.

I’m sure I’ve said this before. There is only one thing that gets better results educating yourself about the things that are important to you.

And that is acting on that learned knowledge – and with the addition of the self knowledge that only you can have, you will really have a powerful and worthy outcome.

All the best
Mark

 

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