Self-esteem is a reflection of our true inner sense of well-being and our deepest inner sense of self value. It is a picture of the way that we feel about ourselves. A picture of our self-worth, our self-regard and our self-respect and a reflection of our ability to live in a manner that is aligned with our deepest inner needs and of our ability to be emotionally responsive to the core of our well-being.

Keys to Healthy Self-Esteem

1. Relational Living… Human beings are 100 percent relational. We live in a continuous state of relating. There is always a relationship between our inner world and our outer world; a continual energetic exchange that takes place between our inner and outer experiences.

2. Relationship… The health of our self-esteem is relative to the quality of the relationship between our mind and our emotions.

3. Emotional Language. Our emotions are continually informing us. They are our navigational system, and they’re giving us information. Our emotions are the absolute expression of relatedness and of relationship; they give voice to the exchange of everything that is taking place in our pure and real experience.

4. Choice… We have a choice. We can learn to listen and we can learn to hear and we can learn to respond. As adults, to live well and to thrive we need to take conscious responsibility for our inner well-being and develop our ability to live from a position of co-creativity in which we are actively and relationally engaged in every aspect of our lives, a position where we are actively engaged in choice.

5. Self-responsibility… “Response” – “ability” is a mixture of responsiveness and accountability. Self-responsibility is literally being responsive to our self with accountability to our self. We can grow into and take ownership of a position of self-responsibility and in doing so learn to live in harmony with our own inner voice.

6. Honor… Honor is right at the core of “good or healthy” self-esteem.

7. Courage… Too many of us have been brought up to perceive certain emotions as a weakness. In my experience it takes profound courage to look at our deepest and most challenging feelings. It takes profound courage to consider quietening and stilling our mind for long enough to reflect upon the way that we actually feel.

8. Vulnerability… When we have learned to defend against any form of vulnerability, we are unable to access the full range of our emotions.

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